King Charming has something special in mind for you, ogre.
King Charming?
Attack!
Artie, duck!
Ready the plank!
- Shrek! - Help!
Cowards!
What has Charming done with Fiona?
She's gonna get what's coming to her.
And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him!
- We've got to save her. - But she's so far far away!
Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid.
No, Shrek. Hold on a second. I've got an idea.
I am a buzzing bee.
Mr. Merlin? They need a spell to get them...
...I mean us, back to Far Far Away.
Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore, kid.
How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic.
Mr merlin, please. I know you can do it.
I said forget it!
But...
What's with you?
It's just so hard, you know?
They really need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble.
'Cause there's a really bad man.
And it's just so hard!
Take it easy.
No! I don't think you understand!
There's a mean person doing mean things to good people.
Have a heart, old man.
They really need your help to get them back. So why won't you help them?!
Okay.
I'll go get my things.
Piece of cake.
Well, well. You want eggs with that ham?
I am a little rusty, so there could be some side effects.
- Side effects? - Don't worry.
Whatever it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful it may be,
it will wear off eventually. I think.
- Oops. - Are you sure this is a good idea?
Look, if Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me.
Even if his robe doesn't quite cover...
Alacritious... Expeditious...
...a-zoomy-zoom-zoom!
Let's help our friends get back...
...soon!
It worked!
I haven't been on a trip like that since college!
Donkey?
What? Is something in my teeth?
Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick!
At least you don't look like some kind of bloated roasted piņata!
You should think about going on a diet!
You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty!
So you two think this is funny?
I'm really sorry, guys.
Don't be. You got us back, kid.
How in the Hans Christian Andersen
am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots?
Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those.
They were made in Madrid by the finest...
You'll learn to control that.
Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort inserts or arch supports or something.
Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until...
Pinocchio!
Shrek! Help me!
- What happened? - Charming and the villains have taken over everything!
Fiona and the Princesses got away. And now she's...
She's what?! What?!
Puss! Loan me five bucks.
You heard him. Help the brother out.
Do you see any pockets on me?
Hold on a second.
I had no idea, really. I... I swear.
Quick Pinocchio! Where is Fiona?
Charming has her locked away someplace. You have to find him!
He's probably getting ready for the show!
Wait, Pinocchio! What show?
"It's a Happily Ever After After All".
"Shrek's final performance"?
Wow, Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play!
Well I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it.
It's the ogre! Get him!
Don't worry, jefe. I got this.
Uck! Kill it!
Look. Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you!
Donkey, we're dealing with amateurs.
He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.
I'm going to lose it!
I assume everything is ready for tonight? You did get the list for the dressing room?
yeah, the breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna.
And I hope you have the saffron corn with jalapeno honey buter.
Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state
without jalapeno honey buter!
I just lost it.
maybe they should talk to Nancy in Human Resources.
Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise!
"With this sword, I do..." No. "With..."
"With this sword, I do smote thee!"
Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"?
I don't think that's a word, actually.
Maybe I should just "smite" him. Let's try this again. Now...
Shrek attacks me. I pretend to be afraid.
"Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!"
Blah, blah, blah. Oh, it just doesn't feel real enough yet!
Who told you to stop dancing?!
Wink and turn.
What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly!
Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mummy.
And I assure you...
...the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second...
...we've had to wait.
Break a leg.
On second thought, let me break it for you.
Thank goodness, you're here. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time.
Where's Fiona?
Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now.
Let me guess. Arthur.
It's Artie, actually.
This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away?
How pathetic.
Now, stand still, so I won't make a mess.
Charming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted.
This isn't about him.
Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right?
You weren't really next in line for the throne, okay.
I was.
But you said the King asked for me personally.
Not exactly.
What that supposed to mean?
I said whatever I had to say, all right?
I wasn't right for the job, I just needed some fool to replace me.
And you fit the bill. So... So just go!
You were playing me the whole time.
You catch on real fast, kid.
Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought.
You know, for a minute there...
...I actually thought... - What?
That he cared about you? He's an ogre.
What did you expect?
You really do have a way with children, Shrek.
~ Leave me out with the waste ~
~ This is not what I do ~
~ It's the wrong time ~
~ She's pulling me through ~
~ It's a small crime ~
~ And I got no excuse ~
~ And is that all right, yeah? ~
~ Is that all right with you? ~
~ Is that all right, yeah? ~
~ If I give my gun away when it's loaded? ~
~ If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? ~
~ Is that all right? Is that all right? ~
~ Is that all right with you? ~
~ No. ~
Had we stayed put like I suggested,
we could be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups.
Yeah, heart-shaped cups.
And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries.
Yeah, loganberries.
- Shut up, Cindy. - Yeah, shut up.
- No, you shut up. - Stay out of this.
Who cares who's "running the kingdom" anyway?
- I care. - And you should all care too.
I have your badge number, tin can!
- Donkey? - Princess!
Puss?
I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body.
And I'm me!
But you're...
I know, I know, everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is
we went to high school, and the boat crashed
and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man.
You poor sweet things.
I don't get it.
The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get?
Who dat?
Where's Shrek?
Charming has him. He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom!
All right, everyone. We need to find a way out now.
You're right. Ladies, assume the position!
What are you doing?
Waiting to be rescued.
You've got to be kidding me.
What do you expect us to do? We're just four...
...I mean three, super-hot princesses...
...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady!
Excuse me. Old lady coming through.
Mom!
You didn't actually think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you?
Excuse me. I think there's still one more.
Why don't you just lie down?
Okay, girls, from here on out...
...we're gonna take care of business ourselves.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Far Far Away Theatre at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present...
..."It's A Happily Ever After After AII."
Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen.
Oi! No food or beverages in the theater!
Places, everyone!
Easy!
Sorry. I guess I was showing off for the little one.
It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Come here, beautiful.
Well, she's got your eye.
Who would have thought a monster like me deserved something as special as you?
~ Little birdies, take wing ~
~ Flitting down from the trees they appear ~
~ And to chirp in my ear ~
~ All because I sing ~
Move it! Go!
My babies!
Help!
Hey, how's it goin'?
O to the K. The coast is clear.
All right people, let's do this thing. Go, Team Dynamite!
I thought we agreed go by the name Team Super Cool.
I recall it was Team Awesome.
I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
All right, all right, all right! From henceforth,
We will be known as Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.
Ach de liebe! There is some strange little girl over there staring at us!
Artie!
Wait, wait!
Where is the fire, seņor?
Please. Don't act so innocent.
You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves.
Artie, it's not like it seems.
It's not? I think it seems pretty clear.
He was using me. That's all.
Using you? You really don't get it.
Shrek only said those things to protect you.
Charming was going to kill you, Artie! Shrek saved your life.
Cue the spot!
~ I wait alone up here ~
~ I'm trapped another day ~
~ Locked up here, please set me free ~
~ My new life I almost see ~
~ A castle, you and me ~
~ Yes, a castle, you and me ~
Cherubs!
~ Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed ~
~ Princess, my love ~
~ At last you shall be freed I'm strong ~
~ And brave And dashing my way there ~
~ With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! ~
~ - Through the blistering desert - Hot! ~
~ - Across the stormiest sea - Wet! ~
~ Facing creatures so vile ~
~ Foul! ~
~ So you can gaze upon me! ~
~ I knew you'd come for me ~
~ And now we finally meet ~
~ I knew you'd wait ~
~ And from my plate of love you'd eat ~
~ Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? ~
~ Will Charming fight or flee? ~
~ Oh please rescue me! ~
~ From this monstrosity! ~
~ Fear thee not, honey lamb! I will slice this thing up like a ham! ~
Oh, boy.
~ You are about to enter a world of pain ~
~ With which you are not familiar! ~
Well, it can't be any more painful than your lousy performance you're giving.
"Prepare, foul beast."
~ Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! ~
Could you kill me and then sing?
Be quiet!
Come on, I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard.
Thank you.
Do they come in men's sizes?
Now that be funny!
Enough!
Now you'll finally know what it's like...
...to have everything you worked for...
...everything that's precious to you, taken away.
Now you'll know how I felt.
Sausage roll!
Pray for mercy from Puss!
And Donkey!
D
Hi, honey.
Sorry we're late. You okay?
Much better, now that you're here.
So, Charming, you want to let me out of these so we can settle this ogre-to-man?
Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a better idea.
- Fiona ! - No! Let go of me!
You will not ruin things this time, ogre. Kill it.
Everybody, stop!
Oh, what is it now?!
Artie?
Who really thinks we need to settle things this way?
You're telling me you want to be villains your whole lives?
But we are villains! It's the only thing we know.
Did you never wish you could be something else?
It's easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree.
You morons! Don't listen to him! Attack!
What Steve's trying too say is it's hard to come by honest work
when the whole world's against you.
Right. Thanks, Ed.
Okay, fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree.
But you know...
...a good friend of mine once told me...
...that just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre...
...or just some loser...
...doesn't mean you are one.
The thing that matters most is what you think of yourself.
If there's something you really want, or someone you really want to be...
...then the only person standing in your way is you.
- Me? - Get him!
No, no, no!
What I mean is each of you...
...is standing in your own way.
I always wanted to play the flute.
I'd like to open up a spa... in France!
I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful.
A new era finally begins!
Now all of you...
...bow before your King!
You need to work on your aim.
This was supposed to be my happily ever after!
Now I guess you need to keep looking...
...because I'm not giving up mine.
Mommy?
It's yours if you want it you know.
But this time it's your choice.
Author!
Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie!
Excuse me. That's my seat.
Okay, Seņor Hocusy-Pocusy, the time has come to rectify some wrongs!
Although I have been enjoying these cat baths.
Please say you didn't.
All right, all right! Look.
You're gonna feel a little pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort...
...but this should do the trick.
- Are you? - I'm me again!
- And I am not you! - All right!
Oops.
Ah, never mind.
What did I tell you? I think the kid's going to be a great king.
Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too.
I have something much more important in mind.
Finally.
Dada.
~ Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place ~
I smell Shrek Junior!
~ Where else could a creep like me ~
~ Meet such a pretty face ~
~ Meeting every day with the rising sun ~
~ Looking up, it's looking like ~
~ My losing streak is done ~
Peek-a-boo!
A bouncy, bouncy, boy!
~ Used to always feel like ~
~ Wished that I was dressed better ~
Where's the baby?
~ Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her ~
~ Meeting every day with the rising sun ~
~ Looking up, it's looking like ~
~ My losing streak is done ~
Well... what shall we do now?
I got it.
Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on!
~ I want to thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again! ~
~ Look at my hips! ~
~ I want to thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again! ~
~ - Break it down! - Let's go! ~
~ Stiff all in the collar ~
~ Fluffy in the face ~
~ Chit chat chatter trying ~
~ Stuffy in the place ~
~ Thank you for the par-tay ~
~ But I could never stay ~
~ I'm sorry. ~
~ I got many things on my mind ~
~ But the word's in the way ~
~ And I want to thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again ~
~ Different strokes for different folks ~
~ Thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again ~
~ Break it down! ~
~ Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! ~
~ Puss and Donkey, baby! ~
~ Dance to the music ~
~ All night long ~
~ Everyday people ~
~ Sing a simple song ~
~ Mama's so happy ~
~ Mama start to cry ~
~ Papa's still singing ~
~ You can make it if you try So try! ~
~ Thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again ~
~ Thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again ~
~ Come on, Donkey. Do something right! ~
~ Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! ~
~ Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! ~
~ Thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again ~
~ I want to thank you for letting me be myself ~
~ Again ~
~ Thank you, thank you, thank you. ~
~ Want to thank you Just to be my ~
~ Because I just want to be my... See? ~
~ Can I, can I thank you! Can I ~
~ Yes! Yes! ~